If I’m a pro at anything, it’s a #momfail.  I’ll keep this list updated with my most recent fails.  For the maximum entertainment, follow me on snapchat (lviggs) to experience real time updates.  Because ya know what?   We’re not perfect, & sometimes “failure” is an option.

  • when your child lodges himself in the bathroom & the cops have to get him out…
  • when your eight month old almost eats a nickel
  • when you have a hat and sunscreen in the diaper bag but he still gets sunburn
  • when he grabs the apple slicer off the counter & tries to put it in his mouth
  • when you lose BOTH of his favorite toys within a week of each other
  • when your five month old has his fingers inches away from the ONE uncovered socket in the house
  • when you put him on the kitchen rug for tummy time & he rolls over in .02 seconds & clonks his head on the tile
  • when you put babe in his bouncer on the bathroom floor so you can take a bath
  • when you realize you probably shouldn’t let your four month old chew on an envelope until it’s too late
  • when you let babe hold a wooden block & he drops it on his face
  • when he spits up in CVS & you shamelessly rub it into the carpet with your foot bc you don’t have a burp cloth
  • when you let babe grab Christmas tree & realize he’s poking himself in the eye with a branch
  • when you drop a crouton on his face while he’s nursing
  • when you think your kid will sleep through the random sirens at the Christmas parade
  • when you only have barbie bandaids & cut your kids thumb when attempting to trim his nails…again…
  • when he’s .65 seconds away from slipping into the bath because he starts chewing on his otteroo somehow
  • when you put him naked in a pumpkin without a blanket for padding…or dryness.
  • when you try to lay him in a pile of corn for a “cute” pic & realize he’s starving
  • when you rap “Shots” at his 2 month appointment
  • when you make your kid a paci unicorn
  • when you dry him off with the blow drier instead of changing his clothes after her drools everywhere
  • when you wake babe up by dropping peanut butter on his foot
  • when you don’t realize your kid is even more cold natured than you are for weeks & he’s been crying every night because he’s freezing
  • when you clip babe’s nails for the first time & take a chunk of his finger instead
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