If I’m a pro at anything, it’s a #momfail.  I’ll keep this list updated with my most recent fails.  For the maximum entertainment, follow me on snapchat (lviggs) to experience real time updates.  Because ya know what? Sometimes, failure IS an option.

  • when your eight month old almost eats a nickel 
  • when you have a hat and sunscreen in the diaper bag but he still gets sunburn 
  • when he grabs the apple slicer off the counter & tries to put it in his mouth
  • when you lose BOTH of his favorite toys within a week of each other
  • when your five month old has his fingers inches away from the ONE uncovered socket in the house 
  • when you put him on the kitchen rug for tummy time & he rolls over in .02 seconds & clonks his head on the tile 
  • when you put babe in his bouncer on the bathroom floor so you can take a bath
  • when you realize you probably shouldn’t let your four month old chew on an envelope until it’s too late
  • when you let babe hold a wooden block & he drops it on his face
  • when he spits up in CVS & you shamelessly rub it into the carpet with your foot bc you don’t have a burp cloth
  • when you let babe grab Christmas tree & realize he’s poking himself in the eye with a branch
  • when you drop a crouton on his face while he’s nursing
  • when you think your kid will sleep through the random sirens at the Christmas parade
  • when you only have barbie bandaids & cut your kids thumb when attempting to trim his nails…again…
  • when he’s .65 seconds away from slipping into the bath because he starts chewing on his otteroo somehow
  • when you put him naked in a pumpkin without a blanket for padding…or dryness.
  • when you try to lay him in a pile of corn for a “cute” pic & realize he’s starving
  • when you rap “Shots” at his 2 month appointment
  • when you make your kid a paci unicorn
  • when you dry him off with the blow drier instead of changing his clothes after her drools everywhere
  • when you wake babe up by dropping peanut butter on his foot
  • when you don’t realize your kid is even more cold natured than you are for weeks & he’s been crying every night because he’s freezing
  • when you clip babe’s nails for the first time & take a chunk of his finger instead
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