10 things I wish I knew as a first time mom

As a FTM I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I figured I’d pop out a baby & everything would go on hunky dory.  I sure was in for a treat!  So, here are a few of things I wish I would have prepared for.

  1.  There will be tears.
    Lots of them.  Happy tears.  Sad tears.  Angry tears.  “It’s Friday!” tears.  “OMG, I slept more than 2 hours” tears.  They come with a fury.  I’ll let ya know if they ever stop.
  2. Embrace your squishiness.
    Even when you make it back to your pre-baby weight, you will be squishy.  Just the word you wanted to be used to describe your once-hot-bod, #amirght?!  But it’s true.  It’ll get back to its former glory eventually….as soon as we want to use that free moment we finally lucked out with to exercise…. (pass the ice cream)
  3. You won’t go bald.
    Or so I’m told.  My hair is seriously coming out in handfuls, it’s disgusting and a weapon to those sweet baby fingers!   Mike jokes that he sees a bald spot, but I don’t even think it’s thinning.  I have NO idea where it’s all coming from, buuuut it doesn’t appear to be stopping anytime soon.
  4. Sex will be enjoyable again one day.
    I went from a lovesick teenager dry humping to a virgin catholic school girl real quick.  I guess the “ya want what ya can’t have thing”.  When I knew we wouldn’t be having sex anytime soon, boy did I want it.  Once we got the go ahead, I was petrified.  I mean a 6lb 13oz human came out of there, what’s a penis gonna do?  UH HELLO, A HUMAN CAME OUT OF THERE?!  & using a condom, yay, so exciting.    Be sure to pull out the lube though, because it is  DESERT down there… But really, slowly but surely, it starts to be as it once was–thank goodness.
  5. Topless is the way to go.
    Well, I wear my nursing bra but the flaps are down, so really, what’s the point??  Keep those babies out & about for as much time as possible.    Seriously, cooping them up is asking for disaster.  Let ’em air dry all day long.  Just get used to swatting your hubs away from time to time.
  6. You will shower.
    Bi weekly, IF you’re lucky.  And that will be the most glorious moment.  You will never love a shower more.  The hot water, the suds, the scalp massage….what a dream.  Really, I should stop writing and go take one right now, but whatevs.  I can’t promise you’ll shave though–that’s just getting greedy.
  7. Just eat it.
    Especially if you’re breastfeeding.  Embrace your mombod.  You created life, you deserve seconds on dessert!  You’re sleep deprived & still eating for two.  If you’re hungry, EAT! It’s for a good reason.  & if you’re not hungry, just wait for a growth spurt.  Are you going to eat that horse?  I’d really like to have it with my meal.
  8. Bodily fluids. Everywhere.
    From being peed on to peeing yourself. It’s bound to happen.  I’ve been lucky enough not to be pooped on yet, Mike took the trophy for that one, but I’m sure E will come around.  Apparently kegels help the whole peeing yourself thing.  If I could figure out how to do them more successfully I’d let ya know if it works.
  9. #treatyoself
    It is not selfish to want to do something for yourself.  Regardless of what that may be; a bubble bath, wine, a pedi, yoga, (all of the above), etc. Find an outlet (this became mine), it will help you refresh & rejuvenate which in turn will help you enjoy motherhood that much more!
  10. It’s a bad day, you’re not a bad mom.
    You’re going to have bad days, there’s no question about that.  But don’t doubt yourself.  YOU ARE AN AWESOME MOM!  You’re doing the best you can & that is more than enough.  Do your best to brush off the frustration & start tomorrow off with a smile.

So there they are.  I’m sure I could write a hundred things, but who wants to read all that at one time.  Maybe I’ll do a “part two” sometime… What are some of the things you wish you knew going into motherhood?!

2 thoughts on “10 things I wish I knew as a first time mom”

  1. I absolutely loved this! ?You don’t sugar coat it but it’s funny, and tells us exactly what we need to know!! Major props!!

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